


A Constant Tangle of Fragments

by ProfessorDrarry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-23 05:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11983311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorDrarry/pseuds/ProfessorDrarry
Summary: Lily Evans is finally getting to start over. Fresh at college, with new faces. A whole new perspective. Or at least, it would be, if a mysterious stranger would stop showing up and telling her she had sixteen days to discover her soulmate.





	A Constant Tangle of Fragments

**Author's Note:**

> This work is firmly AU, though you'll find canon throughout. 
> 
> A million gazillion thank yous to Jade Presley, who saved my butt by betaing (as per usual) and then was wonderful about it (ALSO as per usual.)
> 
> The art for this mini-bang is given by the fabulous emerald-fire-3510 on Tumblr who was forced to work with me suddenly, and then was stoked and excited and beautiful!

A Constant Tangle of Fragments

 

_This constant tangle of fragments of her feel indispensable to me._

\- Tyler Knott Gregson

 

Lily’s very first day of college began by discovering that her favourite jumper—the duck egg blue one that Sev had given her, with the softest sleeves and the gentle v-neck—had a hole in the armpit. She knew that at seventeen, she was likely supposed to stop allowing little things like this throw her for a loop, but a feeling of foreboding settled over her as she pulled a purple shirt over her head instead.

She sent a quick note to Severus, still feeling uneasy at being at a school without him for the first time since middle school. Even if things had been a bit tense around him for the past year or so, he was her safety net. He just sent back too many heart emojis, a clover, and a gif of a cat ‘hanging in there’. She laughed in spite of herself and packed her bag.

Lily sighed as she locked her room and squared her shoulders. Severus was right. All new people, new school. Law classes and things she actually wanted to learn. Besides, she wasn’t this person. She was Lily Evans. She had made herself something; head girl, hard worker, a solid set of friends. She’d come a long way from her dicey primary school, the council estate, and her hard-working parents. She was going to make them proud.

She found her way to her class without any fuss, and her first teacher was sort of okay, if you liked the dry lecturing sort of mathematics. She didn’t hate it, and it was kind of nice being anonymous.

Things started to go downhill when the lecture ran long. She hadn’t anticipated how hard it was to not have all your classes in one, relatively small building. By the time she arrived at the building marked ‘Oberman Centre for Research and Integrity’, she was out of breath and turned around.

And late.

“This theory class better actually be necessary,” she muttered, throwing herself up three flights of stairs. The heavy black fire door at the top flung open far too easily and she stumbled. 

“Ah, Miss Evans. Glad you’ve arrived,” said a smooth, sleek voice. When she looked up, she found a tall, well-dressed man in front of her in the corridor. He pushed himself off the wall and gestured for her to follow.

“I-I’m sorry I’m late...I didn’t know...I got turned around-- Sorry, I am looking for _Basic Theory of Union..._?”

“Never mind being late. As a great man once said, we arrive precisely when we are meant to. You are in the right place." 

The man was quite striking, in a sharp blazer and a maroon tie; his limbs were long and thin, and his hair was pale blonde yet streaked with grey. She felt both comfortable and uneasy around him, and the feeling sent her shivering. She held her bag closer to her body and took a deep breath as they rounded a corner. The man led her into a small room, with plants in the corner and a table with comfortable chairs set around it in a neat row.

“Please, have a seat Miss Evans,” he said cooly. She sat down across from him and placed her bag on the floor, discreetly palming her phone. There was something seriously strange going on here, and she felt a bit trapped. The man settled comfortably, cleared his throat, and fixed her with a steady gaze.

“I am called Seven. It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

“Um?” She said, unable to come up with a better response. “You too? Why do you know my name.”

Seven smiled indulgently, and continued, “Now that you are here, and ready for the next stage of your life, there are some things that we need to discuss.” 

“Um, okay?” Lily said slowly. She held her phone tight in her hand and texted Severus as best she could. She was already on guard, and this Seven character was seriously freaking her out.

“For about thirty years now, we have been experiencing a decline...do you know this?” he asked, furrowing his brow as he studied her face.

“Yeah, everyone knows. Climate change, fertility issues, food shortage…” She trailed off, suddenly feeling very defensive. Was this some sort of test? She squared her shoulders and sat up straight. “I’m here to try and do my part. I’m studying environmental law.”

“Yes, I know.” Seven nodded, smiling at her fondly. “You are a very good person, Miss Evans. Don’t worry, you are not on trial. But there are things you don’t yet know, things that are kept hidden from children. Long before you were born, it was decided that we would only reveal these things….later. When children were...ready.”

Lily felt a fizzle in her ear. Years of watching the world around her with a keen eye and sharp observation had made her wary. There were things she didn’t understand, holes she felt in her knowledge of the world. The statement that things _had_ been intentionally hidden because she was considered a _child_? That rankled.

“I will skip the whole speel. I don’t think you need it. You are already doing everything else right, but there is...well, what it comes down to is this,” Seven continued, sighing heavily and steepling his fingers on the table. “We have discovered that the best way to improve the world was if everyone was to marry their soulmates.”

Lily stared at Seven for a moment, waiting for him to continue. Or perhaps for him to tell her that she had been a part of some ridiculous research project and reveal the hidden cameras. He did neither.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I thought you said ‘soulmates’?” she asked. “As in, one person on the planet, that you’re supposed to fall in love with. Like, happily ever after and all that bullshit?” 

“Correct,” Seven said. “Well, in essence.”

Lily just stared at him. 

“Yeah, sorry...what?” she said finally.

“Well, it’s more complicated than that. You don’t necessarily live happily ever after.” Seven sighed. “But we _have_ determined that there is one person who is meant to be your partner. We test you as a baby. There have been...advancements. It’s partly chemical, partly much more than that. I apologise, but the science of it all is not my specialty.”

Lily felt like she was high. The words this man was using were English, but he was making absolutely no sense.

“Seven, mate. I think perhaps you need to back up,” Lily said sarcastically. This felt rather distinctly like a prank, and it was a fact of life that Lily Evans had experienced enough pranks to last a lifetime. She put on the expression she used when she was trying to be stern, knowing she looked as close to frightening as she was ever going to be. “I am...well, confused doesn’t really begin to cover it. Who is this ‘we’?”

Seven smiled, and the look was extremely unnerving. “Lily, did you ever wonder how you ended up at Hogwarts, the most prestigious school in all of the United Kingdom, with no background and no money?” 

“I won a scholarship,” Lily said defensively. She’d worked hard for that, and it was not this stranger’s place to insinuate otherwise.

“Partly true. But we organised the draw. You got in because we decided you should. You’re match was already at the school, and the best case scenario was for both of you to be together in your formative years. But then, it didn’t turn out as we’d planned.”

“Planned?” Lily said shortly. Was this ass was telling her she hadn’t deserved her education? If nothing else, he was making her extremely uncomfortable. Those were both surefire ways to set her off; she’d bested far more impressive people than this idiot for making her feel inferior. 

He sat back, heedless to her anger, and continued, “Most people have this information at sixteen, especially when you’re match is known. We waited with you two because we kept hoping you would figure it out. But we are out of time. Our research suggests that the best chance of a successful match occurs before eighteen.”

“Stop. What are you saying?” Lily stood up, taking a step toward the door. “You are making no sense. I think I’m just going to leave now. If you decide to try and stop me–”

“You have sixteen days,” Seven sighed. “After that, we will have to take more...drastic measures.” 

Lily scoffed, ignoring the threat as she shouted, “And how _exactly_ am I supposed to know who my match is? If we pretend, just for a second, that I’m not going to call the police on your for being a fucking nut job the second I get out of the room.”  

“Lily,” he said patiently, making her shudder by using her first name. “Trust me when I say. You will just _know_.”  

He stood up and left the room, leaving the door open behind him. Lily stared at him the entire time.

“Well that was absolutely fucking ridiculous,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air. She texted Sev to tell him she was actually fine. She stomped out of the room, not caring who heard her talking to herself angrily.  “If I’m supposed to ‘ _just know’,_ wouldn’t I have already be in ‘love’. Ludicrous. This day.”  

For the rest of the day– which was normal, shockingly– Lily felt like someone was watching her. By the time she had eaten dinner with the girls from her dorm, and excused herself to hide with a book, she was fully rattled and antsy. She wanted to call Severus, but honestly didn’t know what she was going to say. Feeling guilty, she texted him about a headache and crawled into bed. She rationalised that her interaction with Seven had been some ridiculous interactive experiment that would be explained in her next class.

As she drifted in and out of a restless sleep, she refused to acknowledge the feeling that something _Significant_ had just happened.

* * *

_Day One_

When she woke up, Lily was grumpy and unrested. She’d been plagued by strange dreams featuring the people from her past that she usually spent a resolute amount of time ignoring. She skipped breakfast and walked the long way around campus to get to her first class.

When she found the small tutorial classroom, she was disturbed to find that she was the first one. She was sure she was right on time, and she’d been hoping to be distracted by meeting other students and then discussing the minutiae of a syllabus. Instead, she fiddled with her phone for five minutes, getting increasingly uncomfortable. Finally, she decided to she should look professional and reached down to pull her notebook from her bag. When she straightened up, she had to stifle a scream at the shock of someone sitting directly in front of her.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come—POTTER?!” 

“Evans?” Potter replied, seeming similarly shocked.

Unless she was hallucinating, that was definitely James Potter sitting across from her in tutorial, which was completely impossible. And apparently Potter agreed, because they both began speaking at once. 

“What are you doing here?” they said together. She glared and he grinned. 

“You don’t go to school here,” they said in unison. ‘No, you don’t go to school here.”

“Oh my lord, Potter! SHUT UP. Explain why you are here.” 

“You explain why _you_ are _here_ ,” he said, folding his arms with an annoying smirk. “I thought you were going to your snooty Durham program.”

“What? Potter, this _is_ Durham,” she yelled.  

“Right, funny, Evans. But seriously, why are you sitting in my drafting tutorial.”

“Look, Potter,” she said taking a deep breath. “I don’t know why you and your stupid friends think this is funny, but I am trying to get a fresh start, I really do not appreciate this. So out with it. Why are you not currently sitting in Glasgow?”

Potter’s arms fell to the table in front of him, and he looked genuinely confused for a moment. 

“Look, Lily, I’m going to need you to not lose it with me for about five minutes while we figure this out, okay?”

“What?” Lily deadpanned. 

“Evans, I _am_ in Glasgow,” he said meaningfully. “I woke up in our flat this morning. I ate breakfast with Remus, and saw Sirius when he came back from his night shift. I biked to campus. I am in my introductory architectural drafting tutorial. I am assuming that your confusion means _you_ are in fact at Durham. So, obviously something really strange is happening here, don’t you think?” He stood up and walked the length of the table.

“You know,” he mused. “When I go over here, you look kind of fuzzy. And when I go this way, there is sort of a blue glow over your head.” 

Lily was staring at him now, and she noticed a distinctly fuzzy nature around him when he was at the edges of the rectangular table. When he sat back down, she noticed a light green flare around his head; it undulated and flickered, fading slightly when he frowned at her expression, brightening when she scowled. It was unlike any colour she had seen before, and when she tried to compare it to something, she came up short.

“Yours is green,” she muttered.

“Well, that _is_ strange,” Potter said, that irritating looked of amusement that she hated so fully on his face. “I hate green.”

“Look, no offence Potter, but there is a reason I am all the way over here.” She stood up, picking up her things. “I am not supposed to be dealing with your infuriating face anymore. I’m going to go. And before you ask, no. I don’t actually care what is going on here. It doesn’t matter what Freaky Friday bullshit has brought your fucking face back into my life. I’m leaving.” 

She strode purposefully toward the door, because truthfully, she was seconds away from well and truly freaking out. Seven’s words were ringing in her ears, and inexplicable strangeness twice in two days was quite a lot for Lily’s logical, linear brain to handle.

She pulled the door with more force than was necessary. It didn’t budge. She pulled again, twisting the handle in every possible direction. But nothing happened. She could see through the window, and watched as multiple students passed by, not noticing her frantic waves and gestures. Apparently, they couldn't see her.

She spun around and found Potter standing and staring at her. 

“James, can you leave your room?” she said, aware of the panic in her voice and not really caring. She was not a fan of being trapped. 

“Hang on,” he said, extending a quelling hand toward her. He disappeared from her view for a moment. When he came back, he looked like he was in pain. “Don’t freak out.”

“You can’t get out either,” she whispered. She looked around, desperate, but the room was on the inside of the building. There were no windows, no other exits. She dropped her bag where she stood and walked slowly to her seat, putting her head on the table. “Fuck,” she whispered. She heard James sit down again too, but he didn’t say anything.

In their last year of school, sharing responsibility of Heads of School, Lily had managed to sort of stop hating James Potter. He’d been almost mature, and had spent less time being irritatingly full of himself, less time being cruel to others. She wasn’t exactly sure why or how, but none of that really mattered; she could still think of about a million people she’d rather be trapped near. 

“Lily?” Potter said hesitantly. “Um, it’s going to be okay...I know you don’t like being in small places. But, look, I’ll just call Remus, okay? He’s like five minutes away and he’ll come—oh.”

Lily looked up, worried by the pronouncement.

“Well, no signal. Weird. But, still, it’s okay. Someone will be there soon, and…”

She couldn’t help but smile at him, “Potter, we are in two different cities. How was Remus going to help _me_?”

Potter smiled sheepishly, and the green around his head flickered a little bit. “Oh. Yeah.”

She put her head back down on the desk. She was happier when she couldn’t see the room. They sat in silence for a few minutes. 

“So, how are you liking school?” Potter finally said quietly. He had never been very good at silence. She smiled to herself. Frankly, though the situation was strange, she hadn’t realised how nice it was to have familiar faces around; she’d been around James Potter in some form or fashion since she was eleven. She had never appreciated how small Hogwarts had been until she had been in amongst faceless masses in the dining hall.

“S’okay,” she muttered. “Different. Not used to it yet.”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “It’s weird, hey? Not knowing everyone.” 

She sat up, and smiled at him. It was nice to hear her own thoughts echoed back to her. The green glow shivered and brightened, turning a mossy colour that calmed Lily without her even realising. 

“Potter,” she said hesitantly. “If I tell you something strange, do you think you can manage to not be an ass about it?” 

“Hey,” Potter said, feigning offence. “I am _never_ an ass. But, since I know we don’t agree on that particular fact, go ahead. I promise to be the consummate gentleman.”

She took a deep breath. She really needed to tell somebody, anybody. “Yesterday,” she started. “This strange man told me that I have a soulmate that I have to find within the next sixteen days.” She breathed out all the air in her lungs and cringed as she waited for Potter to mock her. 

“Are you serious?” Potter said, sounding shocked.

“I told you not to be—”

“No, Lily,” Potter interrupted. “Um. So, I mean….that happened to me on Monday.”

“What?” she said, standing quickly. 

“Yeah, um,” Potter stood up too, “Something about there being a perfect match for everyone? Only mine was a woman….er, called Nine?”

“Mine was Seven,” she muttered, her face feeling hot and clammy all at once. Things were clicking into place that she certainly did _not_ want clicking into place.

_The best case scenario was for both of you to be together in your formative years._

“Yeah, hilarious, Seven. Quite the sense of humour, mate,” she said quietly to herself. “I don’t bloody think so.” 

“Lily?” Potter said. “You okay?”

“You know what, Potter, no,” she shouted. “No, I’m not fucking _okay_ , and when you let that ridiculous brain of yours actually function, you won’t be either.”  

“Lily? Are you speaking?” Potter said. “You’ve gone all fuzzy and—oh there’s someone coming into the—” 

And with that, James Potter disappeared, and Lily was alone in the room again. The door clicked open, and her phone buzzed with three texts.

She flicked it open. Severus, and an unknown number. She scrolled through them.

_Lily, coffee tonight instead?_

_You okay today? Haven’t heard from you all morning._  

She decided to wait and call Sev, and reluctantly scrolled to the last text, knowing already exactly who it was from.

_Lily. Remus gave me your new number. He didn’t want to, so don’t be mad at him. Can you call me? It’s been an hour since you disappeared and...I dunno. I’m just confused._

“An hour?!” she said out loud. 

She called Severus and arranged to have coffee. She did not call Potter.

* * *

_Day Three_

Severus had been predictably unhelpful, and she’d spent the entirety of the next day incredibly annoyed. Mostly, because in any other situation, he would have been supportive and problem solving. But when James Potter became involved, Severus Snape was useless, blinded by his hatred of the man. At one time, Lily had understood, supported him even. But now? She felt like she knew James better, and also, she knew they were all getting a bit old for the childish grudges they both held against each other. Plus, Severus was hardly in a position to be throwing stones after their last year at Hogwarts. She tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, though; he hadn't driven her directly to the hospital when she'd tried to explain. Instead, he'd muttered things about her being lonely and stressed by the new situation.

Over the course of the next twenty-four hours, James sent her five more texts. Finally, she finally messaged Remus angrily. His response made her even more irritated.

_You’ve never had to deal with his pleading. I have to live with him. Sorry, Lily. He just seemed worried._

After the twelfth text, she dialled Potter’s number.

“I’m fine,” she barked as soon as he picked up. “Stop texting me. It’s making it really hard for me to pretend I didn’t see you.”

“Fine,” James said, tone clipped.

“What?” 

“I said ‘fine’, Evans. Sorry I was bothering you,” he said, hanging up before she had a chance to reply.

She punched redial, tone full of venom when he picked up. “Did you just hang up on me?”

“You told me to stop,” James sighed. His exasperation was pissing her off; _she_ was meant to be exasperated with him. This role reversal was confusing and unwelcome.

“Yeah, well…” she said.

“Look, Evans, do you need something else? I’m trying to sleep.” 

“What? It’s half-twelve!” 

“Well, I had a _very_ late night. So if there’s nothing else?”

“Fine. Yeah. Sorry to bother you.” She cringed at her own annoyance and hung up the phone. 

For the rest of the day, her skin prickled with irritation.

* * *

_Day Seven_

For the next four days, Lily lived in a world of contradicting emotions and extreme distraction. Which just made her angrier at James Potter. 

The day after the phone call that had proved everything she knew about Potter, she’d received a long apology email, explaining that he hadn’t slept the night before because Remus was sick again. Which made her feel like crap, because of course Remus was sick again. It had been ages since his last hospital visit, and she had been a really shitty friend to him all summer. So instead of fixing things, the message had fostered more anger at Potter for making her feel guilty.

Remus had finally texted her back, asking her to forgive James for being a jerk again, and for some reason, the message had made her feel worse. At the end of the next day, she had texted _Potter_ an apology, which she immediately regretted the second she hit send. 

When she woke up at the end of the week, on her second Saturday in halls, she immediately resolved to ignore the nonsense with James. The whole point of coming to a school no other Hogwarts students had chosen had been to escape the melodrama. And here she was, failing miserably.

She’s agreed to meet some classmates across campus for coffee after breakfast, and headed out into the bright sunshine full of optimism and hope.

Which of course meant that she wasn’t even marginally surprised when she walked straight into Seven, who crooked a finger and strode away quickly. Growling in frustration, Lily followed.  

“Well, Ms Evans. You have had a week,” Seven said, sitting on stone steps to a building. “How is it going?” 

“ _How is it going?!”_ she screamed, not sitting down. “HOW IS IT _GOING?_ It is going absolutely fucking _terribly,_ Seven. Thanks for asking! Are you actually serious, here? You and you’re little number friends? James SODDING POTTER? He is _not_ my ‘soulmate’,” Lily said scathingly.

She tried to calm down. She could here her mother in her screeching and she was not impressed, but she was too worked up for it to really matter. “Look, _Seven_ , explain yourself. What is in this for you?” 

“What?” he said, looking truly shocked. “Nothing of course. That is not my role—”

“Good,” she interrupted. “Then you will be perfectly fine when I decide to _never_ speak to Potter again, as was my original plan.”

Seven stood up abruptly.

“Yeah, didn’t think so,” she said meanly. “So, that’s it. Show your hand, or I’m done.”

He sighed. “Ms Evans, I cannot tell you more. If you cannot grow up enough to see the truth, to see beyond your history—” 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Lily hissed. “You know nothing about my history with anyone, let alone with Potter.”

“I do, and you know I do. You protect the wrong people, sometimes, Miss Evans,” Seven said in exasperation. She felt a tiny thrill that she had finally annoyed him. “We all have faults. But I think that you know, deep down, that I am right. Now, I will not stay here to be attacked.” 

Sure enough, Seven strode away before she could respond. When her pocket binged, she nearly threw her phone onto the stone steps in her irritation. 

_saw Nine again. thought I should tell you._

“Well, James, I hope that you didn’t alienate yours like I did, because someone needs to explain this insanity,” she said, staring at her phone screen.

* * *

_Day Nine_

She spent the rest of Saturday avoiding James’ messages, and most of Sunday lounging around Sev’s room with a crate of records he’d found at the Oxfam. He was annoying her slightly, but the annoyance was familiar and comforting, so she endured until he asked her to stay for dinner. They ate on their laps while watching old reruns of _Black Books_ on his tiny TV. It was almost like old times, except that there was so much clouding her mind that she barely registered half of what was said. 

Monday morning was pouring rain, and she ran to her two classes with an umbrella over her head and lead in her shoes. She felt like she hadn’t slept in days. When she finally got back to her room, she threw on her comfiest hoodie and crashed into bed with a crappy magazine. 

When her phone went off, she was engrossed in an article about finding your perfect shade of lipstick, and she took the call absentmindedly.

“Hullo?” 

There was just muffled sound on the other end, and she glanced down to find Severus’ photo on the screen. She laughed. He’d been doing this, pocket dialing her, since he’d gotten a new phone last month.

“Sev!” she shouted, laughing still. “Hello, Sev’s pocket! We are the best of friends! How long do you think it’ll be this time before he notices?”

She waited out the call, and a few seconds later she heard laughing voices. Clearly, Severus was with someone else. She listened hard. 

“Are you serious, Severus Snape?” she said, sitting up suddenly. “Are you seriously hanging out with Mulciber and Avery again?” 

The sound became suddenly clearer, and she could practically see what had happened. Severus had sat down, taken his phone out of his pocket, and placed it on the table. He hated the feeling of sitting on it. She was irritated with him for hanging out with those idiot gang kids again, a thing he had promised he wasn’t doing anymore; still, the familiarity of the action made her grin. 

_“Well, Snape, I can’t say that college has done anything for your complexion, huh.”_

_“Yeah, you’re not looking much prettier yourself, Avery.”_  

_“Oh ho, look at him, with a backbone and things. Must be the separation from that frigging good-as-gold Evans. You’re not still hanging out with her, are you?”_

Lily did not want Severus hanging out with these people, and she was happy she'd get to hear him curse them out. There was a long pause, and for a moment, Lily was sure that Sev had finally realised she was on the phone and hung up. Then, there was a crackle. 

“ _What? That grubby council estate hanger-on? Why would I be hanging out with her. A maggot, nothing more. I only tried to help her through school so she had a bit of respectability. Our families are friends.”_

Lily felt her mouth hang open. The words sunk in, they registered as being from Severus, and then they sank to the pit of her stomach. She was suddenly very aware that she was about to be sick, and she ran to the toilets, only just making it in time.

She stood up, rinsed out her mouth, and locked the bathroom door as the anger and panic hit her in equal force. The light to her right dimmed slightly, and she turned wildly, expecting the shadow to be from someone who was in the shared bath that she’d missed.

“Well, I can’t say this wasn’t always one of my fantasies at school, Evans, but the loos? Really?” Potter teased.

She bit back a sob, leaned against the wall, and looked at him. The bathroom he was in wasn’t a public one. There were proper hand towels, and a proper painting on the wall.

“You’re at home,” she muttered illogically.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, stepping forward. “Hey, you okay? You’re blue light is all…”

She stared at him for a moment, aware that her face was dripping with tears, and unsure if the tremble that she felt was visible to him. 

“No,” she said shortly.

“Yeah, no kidding.” James said gently, stepping forward again. “Do you...do you need to talk about it? I’d offer to go instead, but I think that we learned last time that I can’t.”

“I…” she started. When she tried to explain, her voice shook, and she felt herself go light headed. She sat down suddenly against the wall under the hand drier and took a deep breath. 

“Hey, Lily, it’ll be okay,” James said. When she looked up, he was sitting cross-legged on the tiles of his bathroom, looking at her with concern. “Just breathe.” 

“Do you remember last year, when Severus and I were...I guess it was fighting, but.” 

“Yeah,” James said, face darkening at the mention of Sev’s name. “Because of those guys.”

“Hmm,” she nodded. “Well, I just...he just...James, I think this is finally the last straw.”

James didn’t say anything, but his face was sympathetic.

“I can’t keep protecting him, can I? He won’t listen.”

 “That’s not your job, Lily.” 

“Yeah. I know,” she said, picking at a thread on her jeans. “I yelled at Seven the other day.”

“Well, knowing you, I’m sure he deserved it,” James smirked. She gave him a tiny smile. She felt awful, but she also felt like the world had righted itself slightly. She felt guilty about feeling lighter when she was so angry at Severus, but that was the mystery of Potter, and it was starting to unsettle her greatly. 

“Are you going to be okay?” James frowned. “I really wish I was there.”

 She stared at him.

“Fuck. Please don’t yell at me,” James said, scrubbing his face. “I just meant that I don’t like feeling useless.”

“You aren’t useless,” Lily said. He smiled at her, and she looked away as his green light shimmied and shook with brightness.

“Why, Evans. That was almost a compliment.”

“Don’t get used to it,” she teased. 

For another half an hour, they sat in silence as Lily tried to stop crying. James made no more jokes about bathroom floors, and Lily didn’t yell at him. They sat and occasionally looked at each other, until someone started pounding on the bathroom door beside Lily’s head.

“Thanks, James,” she said, as he began to fade. 

“I did nothing. Call me if you need to?” 

“Okay,” she said, standing to unlock the door to a very irate girl.

* * *

_Day Twelve_

 Lily tossed and flailed in her bed for forty-five minutes. Nothing she was feeling made any sense, and yet...it had been a long time since she’d truly hated James, and distance from Severus’ muttered insults and grumblings were making it harder and harder to remember why she’d loathed him so much in the first place. Regardless, she definitely _didn’t_ hate him now.

As she lay there thinking about what that meant, the light in the room suddenly shifted.

When she turned to her side to examine the window and try to see what had happened, she discovered that only half of the room was still hers. Across from her bed, where her desk normally stood, there was a twin bed with bright red sheets. Football posters blazed on the wall behind it, and a window that was definitely larger than hers shone bright with waning moonlight. 

Potter turned his head from where he lounged in his bed and jumped visibly. She giggled, and then gaped at her own foolishness. Since when did she _giggle?_

“Oh now, come on. This is too far,” James sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair and groping for his glasses. “Can you just give me a second, Evans? I’m…” he gestured down to his sheets, and Lily felt herself blush as she nodded and turned around. When she closed her eyes, she saw the olive curve of his exposed shoulders and she shook her head at herself again.

“So,” James said a moment later. “You alright, Lily? To what do I owe this pleasure?”

She turned back around, found him lying down again, but with a grey t-shirt firmly covering his chest. “You think I control this?” She grimaced. “I don’t know why we are here.”

“Whatever,” James said, rolling his eyes. 

They sat in silence for a moment, and Lily tried desperately to pretend that she wasn’t studying his face. The illusion was hard when she was so...horizontal. Despite the distance, and the separate beds, it was hard to ignore that they were both lying down, pillow creases on both their faces, soft moonlight highlighting the lovely green glow that had become a standard feature in James’ shadow. He was different, here in the soft midnight, without an audience or the bravado he borrowed from his friends. It was hard to ignore the fact that she didn’t hate it.

“I guess I just couldn’t sleep,” she said finally, answering a question that he’d barely asked.

“Ah, the worst. Not that it happens that often to me, to be honest.”

She smiled at him. It didn’t surprise her at all that James didn’t have trouble sleeping, but she didn’t know why.

“Still fighting with Snape?” he asked softly; there was no malice in his tone. In fact, it almost sounded like an apology. She just nodded, and he sighed. “I’m sorry. That sucks.” 

“Yeah, but...it’s his fault, not yours,” she said, feeling tears spring up again. She wasn’t normally this emotional, but anytime she thought of the conversation, she cried. “Whatever. So, James, tell me a story. That’s what you do when someone can’t sleep right? You might as well make yourself useful.”

For a while, she just listened to the quiet lilt of his voice, the smirk and the teasing, the softness as he told her about getting himself stuck in a tree when he was small. Without knowing why, she responded with the story of finding an old tree house in the forest with her primary school friends. He listened with rapt attention, and as they traded stories, she felt her body shift into a calm relaxation, her agitation temporarily forgotten.

Finally, they fell silent, the stillness outside highlighting the dim light. 

“This is so weird,” Lily whispered.

“Obviously,” James smirked.

“Have you seen Nine again?” 

“Nope. You seen Seven?”

“Not since I yelled at him,” she said sheepishly.

“Way to piss off our spirit guide,” James teased. 

“Shut up James,” she replied. He just smiled at her. The green aura wavered and undulated, and as crazy at it seemed, the colour seemed almost...happy. She paused again, looking at him. 

“When did I start calling you James?” she eventually said. “It had to have been last year, but I don’t remember why.”

 He smiled once more and then turned onto his back. The light was too dim for her to see his face, which was unsettling when he started to speak again, “I remember exactly. It was December 14, around midnight. There were only two days of classes left before break, and we were finishing rounds. You said ‘night, James’, instead of ‘night, Potter.’”

Lily felt herself blush. She hadn’t really meant the question to be anything but rhetorical. “Why do you remember that?” she sighed, knowing she sounded harsher than she meant to in her embarrassment. “I thought you didn't like me anymore.”

“Of course I _liked_ you. I'll always _like_ you,” James yawned, turning to face her again.

The glow around James head grew blinding for a moment. The quality of the colour shifted until it looked almost blue. Lily stared at a spot above his head.

“Look, don't be offended if I fall asleep soon. I'm exhausted and we've been talking for three hours,” James muttered, eyes already closed.

“We have not!” Lily exclaimed, turning to her clock. “Holy shit. Good job, Potter. You’re a decent distraction.” 

But when she turned back to face James, she found only the blank, white wood of her own desk. The light had shifted back to normal and she was alone in her room. 

She tried desperately not to feel bereft at the realisation. And failed.

* * *

_Day Thirteen_

  _“Fucking hell,”_ Lily swore as her arm was tugged around a corner. “You know, Seven, it wouldn’t kill you to, you know, _not_ sneak up on girls and randomly kidnap them.”  

“There’s no time,” Seven said, his tone never wavering from his usual bored disinterest. “What have you discovered.” 

Lily hesitated. She suddenly felt embarrassed and extremely private; her most recent feelings had been born in her bedroom, and they didn’t feel like the sort of thing you shared.

“The light,” she muttered, not meeting Seven’s intense stare. “It gets brighter and stuff when...when I see him for who he really is.”

Seven’s eyes briefly betrayed him, with their look of unadulterated glee, but his bored tone said, “I’m certain I have no idea what you are talking about.” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Lily said. “So what? I just have to figure out this aura thing before the sixteen days are up and you’ll leave us alone?” 

“Miss Evans, you are a singularly intelligent girl. I am certain that you are doing just fine.” 

“Right, your certainty is definitely why you keep pulling me into alleyways and asking me cryptic questions,” Lily rolled her eyes and began to walk away. “As always, Seven, it’s been swell, but I really have to get to class.” 

She walked quickly into the building and punched the button for the lift, but the second she stepped inside, she threw her hands up in the air and let out an exasperated sigh.

“What is with today? I just saw you, Potter. Aren’t I supposed to get a reprieve or something?” 

“Sorry, Evans,” he glowered, not meeting her eye. “We can just stand here in silence. I know I’d prefer it.”

She looked at him sidelong. 

“What’s wrong?” she said, gentler than she normal. Something felt wrong. Off. 

“Just never mind, Evans. It’s fine.” 

“James…” she said, pointedly using his first name. 

He looked at her sharply and sighed, “Today. It’s the anniversary.” 

Lily stared at the wall for a moment as her brain remembered things she’d been ignoring for months. She reached out and stabbed the stop button on the lift, jolting as it came to a sudden halt.

“Not really how this works, is it?” James said scathingly. “I’m still moving.”

She looked at him fully for a moment, and he sighed again and reached his own hand out. He jerked in a similar way, and she watched him until he met her eye again.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I forgot.”

“Not exactly your job to remember, Lily. We weren’t friends. We still…just, whatever. You don't have to...”

“The first anniversary of the death of your parents is not ‘whatever’,” she added quietly. “Why are you even at school? Why aren’t you with Sirius?

“I was but...I needed to be out of the house.” He sat down suddenly on the floor of the lift. “Sirius is...he’s upset too, because they were like family to him.” 

Lily sat down as close to the wall as she could. It felt too far; she would process that later. Right now she was distracted by the obvious pain on James Potter’s face. It looked wrong, seeing a serious emotion on the constantly jovial face. Sometimes he looked angry. Sometimes he looked worried. Bt she had never see him look so devastated.

“Now it’s my turn to wish I was there with you,” she whispered. “I feel useless.”

He looked up, and his eyes were wet. He scooched himself forward until he was right in front of her. She reached forward and her hand hit the wall of the lift, making her shiver. She felt like she could touch him, but it was just an illusion. Unbidden, tears sprang to her eyes. James put his hand up too, and it looked like their palms were touching, but they weren’t. He looked at the connection point sadly.

“Do you mean that?” he whispered. “Because I wish you were here too.”

“Yeah,” she said firmly, looking James right in the eye.

“What does it mean that your light just got really bright?” James said, staring at a spot above her head. 

“I think we both have the answer to that, don’t we?”

 “Yeah, probably,” he smiled sadly.

“James, can you call Remus? Can he come get you?”

James shook his head, “Hospital,” he muttered. 

“Can you call me then? When…”

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded. Either he meant it, or she had to pretend he did, because the lift shifted and she was moving again. 

“James, it’s going to be—” but the doors dinged and opened before she finished her sentence. 

She got out and ran to the first classroom she found. She tried to get a hold of James, and when he didn’t answer, she tried to call Remus, even though she knew he wouldn't answer either. Frustrated, she threw her mobile on the table and started pacing.

“Seven?” she called into the empty space. “Seven! Look, I get it, okay? I’ve realised the thing...It’s always been James, I understand! Please, we need help. SEVEN!?”

The classroom door clicked open and Seven stalked in.

“Hello Miss Evans. Why are you shouting my name in an empty classroom.”

She stared at him, not quite believing the shouting had worked. As the fact that he was in fact here sunk in, she began speaking in one long, rushed sentence.

“Look, you don’t need to take….what did you say? Drastic action? I get it. James. James is my soulmate. I was supposed to realise it earlier, and I’m sorry or whatever, but I need to help him and I can’t because I’m here and it’ll take hours for me to get there, and I know you can help me, because the weird portal thing must be you guys. You and Nine and whatever other numbers are involved, and then that time that James’ time was all off from mine, and the colours-- the glowing, that means you aren’t...well, okay, I don’t get it at all, but —”

 “Miss Evans, may I suggest you take a breath?” Seven said calmly, sitting on the edge of a table. “I have no idea what it is you are asking me for.”

“Can you get me to Glasgow?” Lily shouted. 

“Oh,” Seven said, shrugging. “Yes, of course.” 

Lily stared at him with her mouth open. In her fear and panic, she hadn’t really thought it was possible. She didn’t know if she was relieved or terrified.

“You may want to close your eyes,” Seven said, stepping closer. “People tend to get sick the first time.” 

She closed them, and when she looked again, they were standing on the steps of a modern looking high-rise. 

“Up there. 304. Let me know if you need to go back,” Seven said, shrugging again, as though he _hadn’t_ just transported them three hours away in mere moments. But Lily was singularly focused, and she bounded up the steps, relieved when she found the front doors unlocked. She wouldn’t have to announce her presence. 

She stormed up three flights of stairs, and found the flat. She banged on the door hard, until finally, an exhausted and dishevelled looking Sirius Black opened the door.

“Lily Evans?” he said, confused and looking at her like she was an apparition. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll explain later. Actually, no, I probably won’t. Sirius, is James here?”

 “What? Um, yeah, he’s in his room.”

“Where?” she demanded. 

“The back one. Lily, can you maybe explain anyway?” 

“Later, Black,” she said gently, pushing her way past him and into the flat. It was cleaner than she’d anticipated, but then, James never really had been messy. She assumed that he had immediately reigned taken control over the disaster that was Black, and the general dishevelment that was a forgetful Lupin.

 She walked purposefully to the last bedroom and gently pushed the door open. She found bright red sheets, the football posters, and a very broken James Potter, curled into the fetal position in the middle of a twin bed.

“James?” she whispered. He didn’t turn, but she thought she heard her name whispered in the broken silence. 

She strode into the room and the darkness lit up with swirling, gorgeous light. The green molded itself to her body and pushed her in a direction she was already moving. The blue formed tendrils the colour of sea glass and wrapped themselves around James. By the time she had made it to the bed— curving herself around shaking, shivering shoulders, fitting herself perfectly into the space available— the two lights were indistinguishable from each other.

Lily Evans stayed for hours, wrapped around James Potter’s aching soul; she shushed him and sang when his sobs got too be too much, she told him stories and she waited while he slept.

In tiny intervals but all at once, she let herself fall completely, and she knew she had been avoiding the feeling for so much longer than she should have.

* * *

“Do you think they’ll manage to be happy?” Nine said, raising her glass and holding it aloft, waiting for the lovely clink of a toast.

Seven smiled sadly as he raised his glass as well, “For a time.”

“So you believe the story,” she said, letting her hand fall. 

“Darling, you know it is true.”

“I just wish she had been less stubborn. They’ve wasted so much time,” Nine sighed.

“Maybe,” Seven said, inclining his head toward the soft light that rose from the house before them. It was a glorious colour; somewhere between the sea during a storm and the green of a rainforest in the high season. No matter how many angles he looked at it, he couldn’t decide if it was more green or more blue. It was a perfect match, to be sure. “Or maybe they took the time they needed. Don’t trouble yourself, my dear.”

“I suppose,” she said, sadness still colouring her tone. “I suppose they must just live as happily as they can.”

“For as long as they can.” Seven nodded. “As must we all."   



End file.
